Killing Two Birds and My Sin

I was struck today by the irony of me killing two birds in one week! And when I say "killing two birds" I am speaking literally! Although, the reason I post is because of the symbolism that it led me to reflect upon. The first murderous act happened as I was driving down a lovely road admiring the equestrian farms, blooming wisteria and the beautiful breeze that ever so slightly swayed the leaves into a dance. Then it happened. Just beyond the ridge. Approaching the horses on the right. And the house on the hill to the left. And there, in the middle of the two lane highway sat two little birds. Small birds. Finch-like in stature and nothing at all like the vulturous birds one normally sees feeding on carcasses in the middle of the road. It was their sweet innocent-like quality that caught my attention and pulled on my heart strings. The two small birds on a happy little excursion to gather food. And then for one, life was over and for the other, life was changed forever as they lost their little friend. This is the scene as it happened that sunshiny day. The two birds chose their escape as they saw my car approaching. The wiser of the two flew left to the hills and the safety of higher ground. The now deceased bird hesitated just enough in their flight straight up, to be clipped by the front of my hood. I thought for one fleeting moment that it had survived and would now take flight and fight for life. But alas it was not meant to be. I hit it with the hood. It floated up still flapping and then, with a definitive end met my windshield and that was its end.
So now I tell you of the second and perhaps more tragic death. Driving along the same sweet highway, a baby bird fell from above right in my way. Still learning to fly or perhaps this was its maiden voyage. I saw it tumble from up above. Struggle with all its itty bitty might to stretch out those wings and take flight. Then, as suddenly as the speeding truck missed it. And this may be the saddest point of all that only if only it had fallen a moment before it could be on an adventure in a red 4x4. Perhaps it would go to work at the office and get a chance at life once more! Instead, it fell to the ground in front of my vehicle and was flattened like a melted Popsicle!
I was woefully sorry and may have even shed a tear. That poor baby bird had become my second victim.

I would not have chosen to murder that day. But I did. I would not have wanted to hurt those two birds but it was unavoidable. There was nothing I could do to prevent it no matter how much I wanted them to live. And so it is with my sin. Not all of it of course. But recently, God has been revealing my sin to me. You know those sins that you never had a clue you had. Until someone ELSE points them out to you. And they just smack you in the face with the reality and truth of it all. Just like a bird falling from the sky. But these birds are no bearer of innocence. They are little sacks of dung. And the stench is now drowning out all those sweet spring time scents. With those revelations I can see how my heart has murdered. Even though I never would have wanted to commit these sins. Yet I do. I am much more comfortable with my "known" sins. I can see them in advance and make adjustments to avoid them. But these new ones falling from out of nowhere are... well.. new to me (not to those around me) and they really stink! Now this may seem disparaging but the hope that comforted me was knowing that God knows about these sins already. He knew I would murder these birds and there was nothing I could do. And so my sins must help me to know His grace even more. He has prepared a way for me to conquer them. He has conquered them already. His Son died for this unexpected sin. I am learning to love all over again.